Chiang Mai - catchin' a flick

DATE: 01-15-08

As far as I know, there are four ways to watch a movie in Chiang Mai: 1) download from the net 2) cable TV 3) theatres, and 4) DVD's.

CABLE TV

You can get HBO-ASIA or Starz Movies.

They both, obviously, need to tailor to the local audience, so there seems to be an abundance of low-budget, "Action-Jackson: blow 'em up, shoot 'em up, kick 'em in the cajones", genre.

If that's not to your liking, you can watch 'straight to cable/DVD' teen horror or teen comedy.

But every once in awhile, they'll show something good; however, they'll show it five times a day, for the next two-weeks.

In summary, cable movie channels in Thailand are EXACTLY the same as in the States.

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MOVIE THEATRES:

There are two major multiplexes in Chiang Mai, one with eight screens, the other with six.

They usually show two different American movies at a time, most often in English with Thai sub-titles.

- Thai movies:

The Thai people seem to like: 'Kung-Fuey-Louie' movies; unbelievably sappy 'boo-hoo-hoo' love stories; and dumb-ass comedies, often featuring one, or more, lady-boys.

The Thai movies often have English sub-titles, and on a rainy afternoon, it's a fun way to spend a couple of hours.

- American Movies:

The leading U.S. box-office grossing movies are shown here at the same time as in the States. Movies like "I Am Legend" and "National Treasure-2" are VERY POPULAR, and are routinely shown on multiple screens at a varied starting times.

Coming attractions, probably in the next two weeks: "American Gangster" and "Charlie Wilson's War".

Note: movies open here on Thursday, which is Wednesday in the States.

Prices: higher for the first three-days and the weekends: 60-130 baht ($1.82 - $3.64).

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DVD's:

I suppose if you LOOK really, really, REALLY HARD; you might, and I say might, be able to find DVD's that aren't counterfeit. But I honestly, have never see any that are legit.

The quality of the DVD's varies between what you would find at Blockbuster (good), or like your Aunt's "Trip to Cozumel" video (TERRIBLE!!!).

The selection is very extensive, and run all the way from the BIG box office hits, to Sundance Film Festival movies.

The last few DVD's I've picked up are: "Sweeney Todd", "There Will Be Blood", "Bucket List".

Note: I saw "Bucket List" when they were advertising it as: 'Limited Engagement in New York and Los Angeles: Opening Soon Nationwide'.

PRICE: 100 baht ($3.03).

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the photo: I'm just slightly out of the frame to the left. I'm wearing glasses.

Amazing THAILAND!!

Photo by: Wachara Anusat

Chiang Mai - the 'lay of the land'

The city has a population of 150,000, with outlying towns taking it to over a half mil.

The city is 'flat-as-a board', but is surrounded by hills/mountains, on ALL sides.

Easily reachable, on the western edge of Chiang Mai, is the 5,482 foot, Doi Suthep.

Near the top of Doi Suthep, is one of the most famous, and beautiful, wats (Buddhist Temples) in all of Thailand; the 625-year old, Wat Phratwat Doi Suthep.

On a clear day on night, the view from the top, is nothing short of SPECTACULAR!!!

I've never counted 'em, but there is rumored to be 309 steps up to the pagodas. I suppose if you're a wus, you can take the tram.

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The city is 435 miles north of Bangkok, and has very good, frequent, and inexpensive air service between the two cities. If you like to 'experience' travel, or are simply 'cheap', you can take the trains or busses.

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Many cities around the world are either on a bay or a river. Since the nearest bay is +300 miles away, Chiang Mai had to settle for the Mae Ping. The Ping River, depending on the season, is often slow and somewhat muddy.

The Mae Ping flows south, where it becomes a major tributary of the Chao Phraya River, which was in it's day, the life-blood of the ancient capital of Siam, Ayutthaya.

The Chao Phraya continues on right smack through the middle of Bangkok, and then on for another 35km before reaching the Gulf of Thailand.

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I think a beautifully written description of the Chao Phraya 'Lord of the Rivers' is in a book titled, “Memoirs of a Bangkok Warrior", by Dean Barrett.

"The river rolled leisurely under a bright blue cloud-streaked sky, from its origin far above the old capital of Ayutthaya, to its inevitable merger with the Gulf of Thailand at Paknam. Its muddy brown water carries patches of green weeds, flotsam, ferries, naval craft, heavily laden rice barges, heavily laden tourist boats and fast moving vegetable boats skifully paddled by Thais every bit as colorful as their poscard counterparts."

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photo: 'Believe it, or Not!!!'; it's moi, doin' a little moonlighting.

I hump Singha Beer up, and 'Ballpark Franks' and 'Thai crackerjacks' down.

Amazing THAILAND!!

photo by: Andre Roberge(InasiaJones)

"Memoirs of a Bangkok Warrior"

I JUST finished this wonderful book by Dean Barrett about a rear-echelon GI stationed in the 'Land of Smiles'.

One of the blips on the cover, I believe has it right, describing it as a Viet Nam War era, M*A*S*H. Example, the enlisted guys have nicknamed their lieutenant, 'Lieutenant Pearshape'.

Barrett also writes some fine prose, as he describes the river which runs through the heart of Bangkok, or maybe it IS the heart of Bangkok, in what he titles:

"Menam Chao Phraya, Lord of the River".

"The river rolled leisurely under a bright blue cloud-streaked sky, from its origin far above the old capital of Ayutthaya, to its inevitable merger with the Gulf of Thailand at Paknam. Its muddy brown water carries patches of green weeds, flotsam, ferries, naval craft, heavily laden rice barges, heavily laden tourist boats and fast moving vegetable boats skifully paddled by Thais every bit as colorful as their poscard counterparts."

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Regarding the photo of the vendor at a floating market near Bangkok:

I find living in this wonderful, almost magical, "kinda/sorta Postcard World", that I no longer know if this is: 1) a photo of REAL Thai people, or, 2) a photo of 'her postcard counterpart'.

Either way, I LOVE the smile!!

Amazing THAILAND!!

photo by Martin Hernandez

the Girls at the 'Forget Me Not' Bar

The first night on a R&R trip to Bangkok, I went to an 'Entertainment Center' next door to the JW Marriott. It was about fifty 'Mini-Me' size bars, UNDER a FREEWAY!!!

Note: We're talking about some special kind of ambiance here.

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For no particular reason, I stopped at the third bar, and on hind sight maybe number two, or number four, would have been better; but hey, there's no way to know.

I ordered a Singha Beer and was immediately hit with: 1. 'Wat Ur name?', 3. 'Wat hotel U stay?', 5. 'U take me home?'.

I mean really 'hard-core stuff', because they skipped right over, 2. 'Where U from?', and 4. 'U buy me drink?'.

One beer, and out.

The shortest distance to the hotel was to 'run the gauntlet' through the rest of the bars.

I hadn't planned to stop for another beer, until I saw the girls at the 'Forget Me Not'. I mean without exception; the girls were 8's, 9's and several 10's. And there wasn't a 'hard-core' look with any of 'em.

Note: These bars didn't have dancers, so the girls were dressed, more or less, in normal street clothes.

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The bartender spoke great English because she was an American Thai, going to school in Bangkok. Her uncle owned the bar, and the rule was she couldn't 'date' the customers.

She was surprised to hear I wasn't looking for a 'date', but was simply there to have a beer and hopefully find someone who could carry on more of a conversation than, 'Wat Ur name?', 'Where U from?' ....

She said, "Yeah, that does get old".

She also told me, her uncle wanted her to work with the girls, to help them with the English; i.e. to improve business.

The girls English was better than most, but frankly they were so HOT; I didn't care if they spoke Urdu.

Anyway, it got off to a rocky start because the youngest and prettiest girl in the bar, asked, "What Ur name?".

I said, "For you my 'sweet young thing', you should call me, Grandfather Jon".

The bartender was drinking a Coke at the time, and it went down the 'wrong way'.

The 'sweet young thing' unfortunately also took it the 'wrong way', and thought maybe I had said something insulting.

After the bartender recovered and explained it to her, it was all cooool.

The 'sweet young thing' became essentially a second 'Left Arm' for the duration. And I tell ya, it was GOOOOD.

The other girls in the bar picked up on the story, and they became an alternating second 'Right Arm', and that was SOOOO GOOOOD!!

It was the normal Thai bar scene; music, bar games with the girls, etc, etc, etc. I probably spent $30 the whole evening on drinks; a couple of beers for me, and a ton of 'lady drinks'.

Note: the old Cyndi Lauper song, "Girls Just Want to Have Fun", HAD to have been written about the girls at the 'Forget Me Not'; I mean they were simply so much FUN to be around!!!

When I was getting ready to leave, I was debating whether to come back the next night or not; I mean I had serious doubts that it could possibly be as good.

I reluctantly decided to tell the girls I had to leave town in the morning, blah, blah, and blah.

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As you might have guessed, the next evening I just couldn't resist going back.

One of the girls saw me about 15 yards away, and the other dozen or so, joined her in a ROUSING CHOURUS of; "Sawadi kaaaaaa, Grandfather Jon!!".

About 15 feet away, the DJ started playing the oldie and moldie 'Macarena', and the girls, of course being Thai bargirls, started to dance.

Anyway, they were surprised; surprised I say, when I started dancing with what; 12-14 girls?

It was great fun, and THEN, they started improvising by adding some rather 'lewd' moves.

When I started copying their 'lewd' moves, the smiles became even BIGGER, and SWEETER!!

And jeez, it was even better than the first night; and I'm not sure how I was able to do it, but I resisted the temptation to do 'take-out', but I did, and I'm glad I did.

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I'll NEVER, EVER, forget the girls at the, 'Forget Me Not'.

3 - 'twelve-weeks post-op'

At 'twelve-weeks post-op', I was walking 2-3 miles a day, WITHOUT crutches.

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One of my concerns was how I would deal with the notoriously poor quality, and dangerous, Chiang Mai sidewalks**. I mean without a crutch, and I tripped up, it could be bad, right?

Well, that's what I thinking, so I practiced parachute landings; i.e. 'land and roll'.

And it worked great, as long as I remembered, "the RIGHT HIP, Dummy!!"

'9 out 10', isn't necessarily a good thing.

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** definition: 'Chiang Mai handicap sidewalks' - If you walk the Chiang Mai sidewalks long enough, you WILL BE 'handicapped'

2 - 'nine weeks post-op'

At 'nine-weeks post-op', I was walking +0.5 miles everyday, with the aid of a single-crutch.

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"The Long Arm of the Crutch"

The primary means of transportation I use in Chiang Mai is called a 'red-songtaew'.

definition: a songtaew is an Isuzu pickup with two bench seats in the back, which will pick-up and drop-off passengers anywhere in Chiang Mai. It's essentially a communal taxi. It's painted red, thus the name, 'red-songt...'.

The problem I have with taking the songtaews, is I need to cross a VERY BUSY street. It's diffficult enough with 'two-functioning legs', but with only one, ...

The Thai people, and I luv 'em, have zero, I mean ZERO, understanding of what we would consider, normal "Rules of the Road".

And Safety? fagetboutit!!

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For pure survival sake, I had to develop a technique.

The TECHNIQUE:

I leapt off the curb, and then because it hurts a little to 'leap', I gimped the rest of the way to the middle of the road.

I then stopped, and GLOWERED at the drivers like a 'crazy-little-old-woman', and THEN I'd pointed my crutch at the driver.

Since I am 6'-6", I call my technique, "The LONG ARM of the CRUTCH".

Note: I haven't had anyone 'Throw it into Reverse', YET, but I'm still very hopeful.

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I'm now 'crutch free'; however since I KNOW the drivers will NOT IMPROVE, I'm continuing to carry my crutch.

And for a little extra effect, I carry it like a proud, yet a little crazy, Samurai !!!!

arigatou goizamasu,
Number 8

Amazing THAILAND!!

photo by Kedar Misani

Buddha Dawgs

I'm crazy about the Thai people for many reasons; not the least of which, is their often devout following of Lord Buddha's teachings.

Bangkok, like all big cities, has got its share of street dogs (soi dogs), but the dogs here are so incredibly mellow.

I originally thought it might be a result of the stiffing heat; but then I realized that didn't make ANY SENSE because they act much different than say the Manila or the Jakarta dogs. I now believe it's tied directly to how they are treated by the people; i.e. the 'Buddha thing'.

My fav flea-riddin' mutt hangs near a Starbucks, and since I'm a 'Seattle guy', I often hang near a Starbucks. I figure our meeting, had to be 'fate'.

Anywhooo, MY dog has a wonderful goofy-ass 'dawg-grin' he lays on me every time he sees me. If he could talk, I think he'd say, "Sawadee krup Dude, how ya doin'?"

He VERY PATIENTLY waits for pieces of my almond croissant, and it's quite easy to see behind the smile, in the eyes, 'khup khun krup'.

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Notes:
1. The almond croissant is his preferance, not mine.

2. sawadee krup is hello; in this case, YO

3. khup khun krup is thanks

Amazing THAILAND!!

Amazing THAILAND!!

photo by Mehmet Canaydin

Chiang Mai - a VERY BRIEF history

1. In 1296, King Mengrai founded Chiang Mai (new city), as the capital of the Lanna Kingdom.

(2008-1296) eight take away six is two, zero take away nine is …)

Holy Cow, the city is 712 years old!!

I'm very surprised, because I don't think it looks a day over 680, 695 tops.

2. King Mengrai had his people construct a wide moat and high wall, approximately a mile square, to protect his city.

Well, guess what? It didn’t work, because the city was frequently overrun and occupied by either the Burmese, or the Thais from their capital, Ayutthaya.

3. In 1774, Chiang Mai formally become part of Siam, and rose in economic and cultural terms to become the most important city in the North, and second only to the new capital city, Bangkok.

4. In 1949, Siam became known as it is today, the Kingdom of Thailand.

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Is there any sign of the Lanna Kingdom remaining in Chiang Mai?

1. The people of Chiang Mai are very much Thai, and speak Thai; but they also speak Kham Muang, also known as Northern Thai or Lanna.

2. Northern Thailand has a unique style of food, quite different than other regions in Thailand.

3. There's also a beautiful style of architecture and furnishings, known as 'Lanna'.

4. Chiang Mai is a relatively small city, but it has over 300 wats (Buddhist temples), many dating back to the reign of King Mengrai.

5. The moat and the gates to the city are the most significant landmark in Chiang Mai; and at night when the gates and the fountains are beautifully lit up, I'm sure King Mengrai would have been very proud of his city.

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A very tall falang (foreigner) moved to the city in August, 2005 – me.

I try to 'live green', so my impact on Chiang Mai, has been: zero, zilch, nil, nada.

However, Chiang Mai, the 'Rose of the North', the ancient capital of the Lanna Kingdom, has changed my life in innumerable ways; unquestionably, all of them for the good.

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photo: the 'Three Kings Monument' is in the heart of Chiang Mai: (King Mengrai of Lanna, King Ramkamhaeng of Sukhothai, and King Ngammuang of Phayao).

Amazing THAILAND!!

photo by Marcus Braun

Amazing THAILAND!!

photo by: Mario Saraceni

Amazing Thailand!!

I believe the literal translation of …

the Thai word 'sanuk' is 'fun', but I KNOW it can mean much more than that.

A Thai friend told me, possibly simply to make a point, "Some Thai people believe that if something doesn't involve at least a nitnoy (tiny) bit of sanuk, then it might not be worth doing at all".

Example of Thai 'sanuk':

On a extremely hot day, even for Chiang Mai, I stopped at a 7/11 and bought a bottle of mineral water; and as it turned out, even for Chiang Mai, it was extremely cold.

To really enjoy my 'thirst quencher', I went next door, and sat on a short perimeter wall of a truly beautiful wat (Buddhist temple).

It wasn't a ceremony, but a rather mundane task of 'mowing the lawn' by three young novices monks, which caught my eye.

Actually, come to think of it, it wasn't even the sight of them 'mowing' the rather large lawn with rather small 'weed-whackers'; but it was the obvious presence of 'sanuk'.

I'm guessing they were 10-12 years old, and because they were so young I wasn't surprised, despite their saffron robes; to see them start 'role-playing' Ninja-warriors. I mean, boys being boys, and each with a 'weed-whacker', how could they not?

What I was surprised about was to see a monk, stealthily SNEAK up behind them, and CATCH them 'red-handed', screwing around.

Believe me when I say, I wasn't half as surprise as the novices!!

They listened intently to the lecture, wai'ng (the Thai bow of respect) the whole time.

They of course, began some 'serious' whacking of the weeds, as soon the lecture was over.

I knew I had witnessed another example; actually TWO examples, of SANUK.

My buffalo is named William

I've always had a, life-long, un-fulfilled, passion for farming.

It's no longer un-fulfilled.

I recently leased a lot near my apartment; and will be growing 'Jasmine Rice'.

In addition to "tot'n that barge, and lift'n that bale", William will be work'n the birthday party circuit (kiddie rides).

The 'Thai Smile'

I see literally dozens of smiles like in the photo, each and every day.

They aren't all as lovely as this hotel employee, but they all seem to resonate from deep in their Thai soul; from the old lady at the market selling lottery tickets, to the school kids piling into the back of the bus.

Some Thai people seem not to know how falangs (foreigners) will react to their smiles.

I have found, if I without hesitation, return their smile; the 'bounce back smile' will not only 'light up the room', but will light up my heart.

khun jon

Chaing Mai,

Thailand; a.k.a. "The Land of Smiles"